JA Missives

If you had a chance to walk into a 3rd grade writing celebration, and if you looked really carefully, you might have seen something invisible. While present in the background, the teachers were sort of invisible during the writing celebration. Believe it or not, this is the goal of every teacher, and it is rare to watch it go so smoothly. It was such hard work to get the students prepared for the day, which was not invisible to me. Autonomous, proud, respectful of each other, patient, fun, serious too, the students presented themselves as confident writers.

In lower school, at the end of certain writing projects, fiction and non-fiction alike, each child takes his or her turn in the author’s chair to share an excerpt from an often long processed writing project, with an audience of their peers, and sometimes parents too. What you would not have seen or heard was the teacher leading the celebration, nor would you have heard any words like “Good Job!” or applause coming from them.

During the process of their writing the teachers pushed them all hard, each in their own way; there were no cookie cutter stories, all voices were present, and their eyes revealed the recognition of accomplishment AFTER a big challenge. Many of the kids worried they wouldn’t finish in time, so there was a real sense of pressure, commitment and responsibility. In the culmination, it was a tremendous gift of learning for all of those students.

If you have absorbed any of the conversation about grit, growth mindsets, and process/product in education, you may also be conscious of the debate that parses praise versus encouragement. Paul Tough, Carol Dweck, Po Bronson and Alfie Kohn have presented much of the research for us. The research suggests that non-cognitive skills, like grit and motivation, require an internal reflection, the chance to develop a personal sense of success in the face of adversity, and this kind of struggle can be the best motivator for achievement. Kids need to experience failure, mistakes, pain, trouble, in order to find motivation to improve. Pressure is good, high standards are good, feeling a real sense of autonomy is good. This is why the 3rd grade writing celebration is such a vivid demonstration of that kind of process and encouragement.

We know concrete, consistent praise, for some kids, is important; it can be effective when used incrementally, to manage behaviors that are particularly challenging. For most kids, in most instances though, we see the real negative power of the overuse of praise. Alfie Kohn is the most animated about laying out the research that suggests this as a concern, and offers alternatives. He says, “An impressive body of scientific research has shown that the more we reward people for doing something, the more they tend to lose interest in whatever they had to do to get the reward. Now the point isn’t to draw, to read, to think, to create – the point is to get the goody, whether it’s an ice cream, a sticker, or a “Good job!” 

Over praising actually reduces achievement-so rather than looking at motivation coming from adults, students need to feel that hard work, and internal drive. So pushing them, encouraging them to reach their goals, and witnessing their own success after hard work, motivates them. That is why the 3rd grade writing celebration was about the kids, not the applause. 

We believe that letter grades can actually become de-motivators, causing that straight A kid to stop when they are done, and the kid who is striving but struggling to feel de-motivated too; the over use of external rewards just creates praise junkies. So what’s the alternative when your child hands you that gorgeous math problem, that beautiful writing sample or even that less than exceptional piece of work? Try saying just what you saw, and encourage the effort and hard work when you see it. Try talking less, and asking more questions about what they did, how they did it, what they might do differently next time, and how it felt to them.

Don’t stress too much when Grandma comes over and over praises every little word from their mouths, or if you slip and praise the rainbow drawing every now and then. Just be mindful, and maybe also understand why that teacher you have doesn’t seem to talk freely with praise every day about your child. It does not mean they don’t love your child, and really, their measured approach, and commitment to care for the growth, mind and learning of your child is a gift that will instill internal rewards for your child for years to come. As Alfie Kohn says, “The bad news is that the use of positive reinforcement really isn’t so positive. The good news is that you don’t have to evaluate in order to encourage.”

2012